Bons mots

Slips of my tongue

Vanity, thy profile name is HandsomeStrongM

Over brunch with some girlfriends today, the conversation turned to online dating, as it so frequently does when you get a bunch of single girls together. We all have profiles on a certain dating site and shared our dating horror stories. It reminded me of a recent exchange I had with someone on the site. It’s so audaciously head-shaking funny that I had to share it. It also shows why I’m okay with remaining single for the rest of my life, if this is any indication of what is out there.

I later discovered that this guy sent the exact same email to three other girlfriends of mine on the same site. A lesson to men: don’t use cookie-cutter tactics when approaching women, either in person or online. We do talk to each other.

HandsomeStrongM

Hi, how’s it going with you? I just thoroughly read your profile and will say that you look attractive, so I thought that I shall type a good message…I see you come off as feminine, look confident, you look like you have a strong personality, ambition and you seem to have a good vibe about you by reading your long, well taught out profile. It speaks volumes about who you are with your thorough explanation about yourself. I am open to being in a long-term relationship, so it would be nice to talk one on one and see what’s on your mind!

Since I am new online, go easy on me! I have no picture online now, since I just really started using the internet more so now then I did before and I am here trying to get accustomed to all the tabs/features on this site ~ my everyday life/work doesn’t require the use for computers. Anyhow, I am very confident with how I carry myself, how I look and I am complimented as cute and good-looking. I believe physical attraction is pretty important and although physical beauty/attractiveness is subjective, I am a pretty good-looking man (not to sound conceited). Here is my physical description; I’m 5’11”, have nice brown eyes, full lips, I’m physically fit at 180lbs and dress well. I DON’T THINK it is right to lie about myself as I dislike lies and nonsense. I heard about the embarrassing/off-the-wall/bullsh-t dates and I AM SURE I will never bring that to any girl! I am also HONEST, trustworthy, strong, confident, independent (living on my own), passionate, intelligent, mature, patient, funny, SANE, kind, caring, stable, romantic, gentlemanly, successful in my work life and much more…It be nice to get to know you more!

Now that was a lot to type! If I caught your interest, you can add me to msn…

Antandre [me]

Thanks for your email! The lack of photo does cause me concern, but eh – I’ll get over it.

If your life/work doesn’t require the use of computers, don’t you find joining an *online* dating site a tad ironic?

HandsomeStrongM

I get that you’re curious to see my picture, which I don’t have currently since I am new to online dating and I don’t really use computers as it is NOT required in my line of work and everyday use! Here’s an easy list to read to give you some insight about how I look!

– Told by a lot of women that I’m cute and good-looking.
– I’m 5’11”, 180lbs, physically fit, I have nice brown eyes, full lips and clear, olive toned skin.
– Complimented usually on my eyes, then my smile, lips and hands.
– 30 years old, but look about 25.
– Hygienic, clean cut and always groom myself.
– Have a clean, attractive body.
– Dress nicely, always smell good, have an assertive way of carrying myself.
– I have a strong sense of self-worth in the looks department.
– Although looks are subjective, I can confidently say I am a good-looking man.
– Not trying to convince you here to meet me…just being HONEST!
– When I type/say something, I MEAN WHAT I SAY! I only am STRAIGHT-FORWARD!!

Although I don’t have a picture, I am very sure that I am worth all your time!

I am more of a serious person seeking something long-term.

I am NOT delusional, creepy, fake, abnormal or moronic. I have a very strong personality and I can only be HONEST as I can.

I usually meet women at bars/venues as I think they can be reasonably good places to meet someone special, as I know some people that met their better halves at bars/venues. I am not one to waste time and put time into something that is not right, nor am I here to play games…I am serious about meeting someone for a long-term relationship. I am not a crazy, clingy, weird person either…I am totally normal and seeking mutually satisfying physical/mental attraction. Anyhow, I’m curious to know what’s your reason logging on here, what would you like to find and what attracts you to a man?? How about we talk on the phone instead? Instead of senseless online typing that goes in circles. I am willing to share my number if you are willing to share yours!

Antandre

Not a phone person – why don’t we just meet for a coffee or a drink? By the time it takes us to finish it, we’ll know whether there is a connection. I have some free time next week.

HandsomeStrongM

You make it more difficult like that to make a connection, thats all I can say.

Antandre

What? A face-to-face meeting is more difficult? I’d rather do that than spend weeks emailing and IMing back and forth. I have a busy life and don’t have time to spend on the computer; in fact, I’m online most of the day, so after work, I try to stay away from it as much as possible.

It’s been my experience that you get to know someone really well by talking to them in person.

HandsomeStrongM

What draws me to a woman is looks, strength of mind, confidence, loyalty, a woman of quality, stability of mind, intelligence, femininity, straight-forwardness, values, honesty, someone who loves what she does, drive about life in general, a sense of humour, someone who is ladylike and likes a man to be a man. I like a woman I can be with and talk with. I believe it is good to be sincere and upfront about what I am looking for, as I am a more serious candidate on this site then other guys.

I am seeking someone I can spend quality time with, someone to talk with everyday so I can focus on and build a life with. When I have a girlfriend, I like to spend a lot of time with her. I believe passion, growing strong together and becoming stronger as a couple is what makes a relationship hot and leads to being happy with each other! I believe in good chemistry, physical attraction, compassion, monogamy, caring for each other, amazing intimacy, affection, common interests, honesty, affinity and trust are qualities that make us desire one another. Growing a strong bond with each other is important…I like to find something genuine!

In all honesty, I think typing back and forth can be strenuous and also very time consuming. I am an absolutely normal, confident man who is just looking to meet someone that I click with mentally and physically, nothing more and nothing less. I suggest we talk on the phone and get things rolling in that manner, whadaya say?

Antandre

Okay, I get it – you want an attractive, confident, loyal, stable, sane, intelligent, feminine, straight-forward, honest, funny woman with values. Kind of redundant, don’t you think? I wouldn’t assume you’re looking for an ugly, insane, insecure, stupid, manish, lying bitch.

I’m not lying when I say I don’t like talking on the phone. I’m on it all day. I don’t know why we just don’t meet and get it over with.

HandsomeStrongM

Have you ever tried online dating and met people through this before? I tried the night exchange and lava life phone personals and found success on there with some attractive looking and decent ladies. It all comes down to finding someone physically attractive with good qualities and avoiding people who are full of shi+. Everyone might have different views on what’s attractive but I believe it breaks down to physical attraction, mental connection, mental stability and overall chemistry. What would you like to find on this site?

HandsomeStrongM

You just wanna get it over with? Thats something an ugly, insane, insecure, stupid, manish, lying bitch would want…I thought you were not like that.

Antandre

I’ve been online dating for some time (not a fact I’m proud of, but whatever) and it’s been my experience that hours spent conversing with someone online or on the phone are a waste of time. You meet them and they’re completely different than their phone/online personas.

While you may be attractive, I do need to see a picture. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder; you can describe yourself to me all day long but like you wrote, “everyone might have different views on what’s attractive.” I’ve been burned many times by agreeing to meet people without a photo. Shallow? Perhaps a bit. But physical attraction plays a huge role in overall attraction. You know what I look like – it’s only fair I have an idea of what you look like. It’s not difficult to upload a photo.

Actually, an ugly, insane, insecure, stupid, manish, lying bitch would want to string you along as much as possible with the hope that you’ll fall in love with her “personality”. I’m upfront – I use this as just another tool to meet people, along with friends, events, etc. It’s not “getting it over with” – there could be a connection, and if there is, it’s something I would like to explore. So don’t make judgment calls about me just because I actually want to meet in person.

Here’s the kicker – he copies and pastes THE SAME RESPONSE he gave me earlier!  As if I have short-term memory loss.

HandsomeStrongM

I get that you’re curious to see my picture, which I don’t have currently since I am new to online dating and I don’t really use computers as it is NOT required in my line of work and everyday use! Here’s an easy list to read to give you some insight about how I look!

– Told by a lot of women that I’m cute and good-looking.
– I’m 5’11”, 180lbs, physically fit, I have nice brown eyes, full lips and clear, olive toned skin.
– Complimented usually on my eyes, then my smile, lips and hands.
– 30 years old, but look about 25.
– Hygienic, clean cut and always groom myself.
– Have a clean, attractive body.
– Dress nicely, always smell good, have an assertive way of carrying myself.
– I have a strong sense of self-worth in the looks department.
– Although looks are subjective, I can confidently say I am a good-looking man.
– Not trying to convince you here to meet me…just being HONEST!
– When I type/say something, I MEAN WHAT I SAY! I only am STRAIGHT-FORWARD!!

> Although I don’t have a picture, I am very sure that I am worth all your time!

>I am more of a serious person seeking something long-term.

I am NOT delusional, creepy, fake, abnormal or moronic. I have a very strong personality and I can only be HONEST as I can.

What attracts you to a man and what would you like to find?

Anyhow, if you like to talk one on one, my hotmail/MSN address is … or we can even exchange phone numbers and talk on the phone! Let me know…

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April 25, 2009 - Posted by | FAIL | , ,

3 Comments »

  1. This guy says “keeper”. All the way!

    Comment by Leon | May 1, 2009 | Reply

  2. My brain hurts…so let me get this straight you OFFER to meet face-to-face and he says you are making online dating DIFFICULT???? Let’s find out who this “guy” is and use the cookie cutter on him. Sheesh…thanks for sharing Bon…the only other thing that hurts is my stomach from all the laughing. Cheers,

    Andy

    Comment by Andy Donovan | May 7, 2009 | Reply

  3. I got a million of ’em.

    Comment by Bons Mots | May 13, 2009 | Reply


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